Along with its continuation next week, this was originally published in January 2001 Casino Player magazine. An amusing sidebar: Although the story is true, when I originally published the article, I confused the denomination on the big jackpot and and wrote the newlyweds received $10,000 rather than $50,000. Boy, did I get a lot of emails telling me that these folks were being cheated!
The Golden Nugget is no longer a particularly desireable place to play. Although they still have 9/6 Jacks or Better, their slot club rate is smaller than average and they have "removed" all players with a clue.
I was playing $5 9/6 Jacks or Better at the Golden Nugget in Downtown Las Vegas during a lucrative promotion. Historically I've done very well at this casino and have written about several adventures there. But this night was not a good one.
I was down about $3,000 in an hour and a half. Not THAT unusual on these machines; they do require $25 per hand after all. No fun, but no big deal, really. Sometimes you bite the bear. Sometimes the bear bites you. While I was playing, two Heineken-toting newlyweds came up, looked at the $25 machine next to me, and slipped in two $100 bills. They then tried to figure out what game to play, and settled on Double Double Bonus Poker. Double Double Bonus Poker, as you probably know, is a variant of Jacks or Better that pays extra for all quads --- especially 2s, 3s, 4s, or As with a "kicker" of A, 2, 3, or 4. When you are not receiving 4 of a kinds, Double Double Bonus only returns even money for two pair.
This game is very popular in most casinos. So popular that slot directors have learned that players generally pay no attention to the pay schedule. The best commonly available pay schedule (returning 9 for a full house and 6 for a flush --- designated as 9/6) returns slightly under 99%. No player with a clue on bankroll preservation would ever play such a game. But since Double Double Bonus is a game for the clueless, most casinos offer the game returning 9/5 (returning 97.9%) or even 8/5 (returning 96.8%). These percentage returns are only for people who play well. And there are basically no such people in existence. If any body were knowledgeable enough to play these games well, they would be knowledgeable enough to find a game with a better return.
With cash back, the Golden Nugget offers the best play in Las Vegas for the knowledgeable $5 and $25 player. With excellent amenities. But the casino offers many not-such-generous games for people who do not know the difference. The specific game at the Golden Nugget was 9/5. Quietly waiting for the clueless to come along. And here our "feeling-no-pain" newlyweds came!
The husband pushed "Max Bet" and was amazed that it cost $125 to play a hand. "I thought this was a dollar machine!" They giggled at how extravagant they were being. And they were dealt Ah Ac Ad 3s 9c. Excitedly they discussed the hand and decided to play AAA3 because the 3 was a good kicker.
This was a truly awful play. Kickers are relevant in Double Double Bonus, but getting the fourth ace is by far the more relevant consideration. Holding AAA3 instead of the proper AAA is a mistake worth $82.50 on this machine.
But sometimes the video poker god smiles on party people (these were hardly their first Heinekens of the night) and the As was the card drawn. Not a bad start! High fives, kisses, and loud cheers! This was a $50,000 wedding present. The floorman, Greg, came over, congratulated them warmly, and asked them for ID so he could process the W2g paperwork. The groom produce his driver's license, while the bride ordered two more beers apiece.
Greg came back with their money and paid them $50,000. They cashed out the remaining $75 in credits, gave $50 to Greg and $25 to the cocktail hostess, then happily left the area. What a way to kick off a honeymoon! Living happily ever after seemed real possible right about then.
Greg and I watched them go. He didn't know my exact score, but had seen me feed $100 bill after $100 bill into the machine. He knew he hadn't paid me any jackpots, so he correctly figured that I must be down a considerable amount. He knew they were playing a game with an inferior pay schedule. He could tell they were inebriated and didn't know much about the game. He commented, "Better to be lucky than good."
I grunted noncommittally and went back to my game.
I've heard that phrase hundreds of times in a casino. I used to say it myself. But now I've come to the opinion that I don't agree with it at all. I would much rather be good than lucky.
Continued next week
Bob Dancer is America's best-known video poker writer and teacher. He has a variety of "how to play better video poker" products, including the software "Video Poker for Winners," Winner's Guides, strategy cards, his autobiography Million Dollar Video Poker, and his two novels, including Sex, Lies, and Video Poker. Dancer's products may be ordered at www.bobdancer.com or by telephone at 1-800-244-2224 M-F 9-5 Pacific Time.
